I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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