I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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