john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
