Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
