This girl is more easily done than said...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
