Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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