look no pants
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize