i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
