I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
