Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
