Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
