Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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