Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize