The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
