Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.

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(708): View more from Illinois

For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game

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(213): View more from California

dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.

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(303): View more from Colorado

nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ

(1-303): View more from Colorado

he is risen halelujah

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(256): View more from Alabama

I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

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(561): View more from Florida

Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.

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