No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
