I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
That's intense
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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