i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
