We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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