Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
