He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
