i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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