never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
