Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
