Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
