you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am mentally ready for anal.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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