the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
