Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Boobs speak an international language.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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