1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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