I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
