"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize