Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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