the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
