I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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