Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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