Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
