Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
