i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
