His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
