Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
