1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
