ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
