Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
