In the future we'll all be gay
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
