Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
