Dual....:-)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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