Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
