His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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