i need an iv and a liver transplant
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
