she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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