Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
