I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
