Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
