I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
