My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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