Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
