i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
