Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
did i walk over a car last night?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
