walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
