Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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