Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize