i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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