all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
