you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize