i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
