You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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