that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
