THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
