There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I have post one night stand depression
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
