it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
