I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
