I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Your penis caused this!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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