I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
