every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
